Prawn Pool Legal Division
Unlimited company. Unlimited liability. Unlimited nonsense.
All matters ultimately resolved in the Cayman Islands.
For people who are worried about their mate lifting at Lift City stealing their girl.
Specialising in anything said between 6–9am on Zac & Tommy O. If it was said on air, we’ll pretend it never happened.
Our flagship service. All money, all problems, and occasionally all evidence, redirected to the Cayman Islands with extreme prejudice.
Expertly worded so that when you get hurt at Lift City, it’s somehow still your fault.
We will look into recovering your lost funds. We will not recover your lost funds. The investigation fee is non-refundable.
For the children you never wanted. We specialise in making the entire process as confusing and expensive as possible for everyone involved.
Something went wrong? Call us. We’ll put you on hold, transfer you to the Cayman Islands, and then never call back. Available 24/7 in spirit.
Response time: never · Fees deducted immediately
Your matter has been escalated to the Cayman Islands.
Estimated response time: never
Legal fees have already been deducted.